Pokemon Insert Random Jewel Here!
by Animalluver
Summary: My name is Dawn, and I'm going to tell you a story about my humorous adventures in Sinnoh. Along with my idiot friend Racade, and a weird guy named Lucas. A different story than all the other Pokemon fanfics!
1. Never Let Your Friend Light Firecrackers

**Pokemon (Insert random jewel here)!**

"My name is Dawn, and I will tell you an unoriginal story on my adventure in Sinnoh. I will bore you to tears, and make sure every detail is said in the most boring way ever. It's so boring that you will have cancer by the time I'm done. This will have no plot, no humor, no fun, because we've all read about ten billion of these, am I right?" I frowned, erasing the paragraph with my pencil. Sighing, I chucked the paper at the trash bin.

"Honey! Dinners ready!" Yelled my mom from downstairs.

"I'll come down when I'm ready!" I shouted from in my room upstairs.

Long silence.

"DAWN! GET YOUR HAIRY BUTT DOWN HERE, OR SO HELP ME, YOU WILL BE GROUNDED! YOU WON'T GET TO PLAY WITH RACADE, AND YOUR WII IS GETTING TAKEN AWAY!"

Oh no! How will I get to play my Wii?

"Coming," I mumbled. "Sheesh, what a witch."

My mom smiled at me, holding a glump of pale and green food. It looked like pudding. Except mutated a little.

"Hi honey, sit down, eat your dinner," She set two plates on the table, switching off the TV.

I groaned. "Mom! I was watching that!"

"We are going to eat like a family tonight Dawn," She took spoons out and handed them to me. "Well, how does dinner look?"

_Like a cow puked on it and flushed it in the sewage. _"Like a fancy dinner Mom! You're the best cook ever!"

Mom smiled, but cocked her head to the side. "Are you okay dear? You're just staring at the food."

She was right. I was staring at the alien slob she called dinner.

"Uh, Mom, I love your dinner, but can I skip-" We heard a rumble from our neighbor's house.

"What was that?" She asked. "It sounded like our neighbor is building a house or something!"

_Racade. _My senses told me. "I'm going out. See ya mom!" Standing up, I grabbed my hat and walked out. Racade's shed was vibrating.

I opened the shed, and my ears almost fell off, it was so loud. Racade was holding a chainsaw and was cutting something. He had wood chips all over his clothes, and huge goggles on his face.

"Racade?"

He kept sawing.

"Racade?" I yelled louder.

He still kept on sawing.

"RACADE!"

He stopped, unplugged cotton from his ear, and turned to me, with a goofy grin on his face. "Hiya Dawn! I'm making firecrackers!"

This is sadly my neighbor Racade. He likes orange striped shirts for some reason, and never combs his rats nest of blonde hair.

"With wood?" Confusing, how is it even possible to make firecrackers with wood?

He took out a basket with a bunch of wood shavings, gun powder, and red wrappings. "The wood's for extra light. I'm making this so I can print out my name in the sky! Imagine, front cover of the newspaper saying, 'Youngest kid to make ultra powerful fireworks!' Huh, huh?"

I tried to imagine, but I didn't see it. I saw smoke, people running, and burnt up blonde hair. "More like, 'Extra extra! Blonde kid to destroy towns with fireworks in a two-hundred mile radius!"

"That's the spirit!" He opened the drawer, and handed me a few of them. "I made them already. Here, let's light 'em outside."

What? Now he wants to murder our town? "Racade, I don't think this is safe..."

"Sure it is! They won't notice a thing! It's already dark enough, let's head out!"

Well, I must admit, it was fun doing something bad, sorta. I mean, it's not like our parents said we can't light fireworks!

We tip-toed outside, and we could already see stars. "Perfect!" Racade exclaimed. He set down the firecrackers and lit them with a match.

"Back up, back up," He told me.

"Three," We chanted.

"Two."

"One!"

BOOOOOOOM! The fireworks were a little more powerful than expected. They broke the windows, burnt the wood on the houses, and cleared the entire area where the firecrackers were of grass.

Our moms ran out, horrified.

"DAWN!"

"RACADE!"

"Racade!" I shouted.

"Dawn!" He shouted back.

"You were the one that made the firecrackers," I pointed to him.

"If you didn't come, I wouldn't of thought of it!" Racade snapped.

"You would of done it anyway! Extra, extra! Dumb kid blows up our parents' houses!"

My mom took me by the arm. "Enough arguing! Dawn, you will come home this instant, and you will eat that dinner I made you!" Gee, on a usual basis, that wouldn't of been punishment. Apparently mom ate the dinner.

"As for you Racade, you will come home and for your TV shows, you'll have to live on _Barney _and _Teletubbies_ for a long while!"

"Mom!" We yelled at the same time.

Mom dragged me inside, and pointed me on the chair. "Sit. Eat."

"Mom, as much as I love your horib- er... Delicious food, I'm really full!" I extended my stomach and patted it. "See, I'm stuffed!"

"Eat," She demanded.

I took the spoon, and since the food was left alone for so long, it was jello-pudding like now.

My eyes watered from the stench that emitted from it when I poked the vomit. I scooped a bit, the reek about to make me barf on what looked like barf, and with shaky hands, I put it in my mouth.

I gagged.

Holding my hands up to my mouth, I ran upstairs and threw up in the bathroom. My mom waited downstairs for me.

"Well? You have a whole bowl to eat. It's nutritious!" She said, kicking me a bucket. I looked at her in confusion.

"I think you'll need this, dear."

The cycle continued. Eat, barf, eat, barf, until the bowl was clean.

My mom looked at me with a smile on her face, clearly enjoying my panting. "Fun, huh?"

"No," I said.

"I called Racade's mom and she said that you guys are allowed to hang out tomorrow. Kiddo, you got lucky. If it were my parents, you'd be doing chores until your hands drop off. Luckily I have enough money to pay for those windows from Contests."

Did I mention my mom was a famous contest coordinator? I didn't pay any attention to her? Whoopsies!

"Cool mom, thanks," I said.

"No problem. What will you be wearing tomorrow by the way? You know I-"

"Yes, mom. You need to know so I don't dress like one of "those" girls," Rolling my eyes, I threw my hat on the coat rack.

I changed in my pajamas, and showed my mom my clothes of choice. "The shirt, the hat, the skirt, the socks, the boots, and the scarf. The end," I said.

My mom held up my pink skirt. "Dear, this skirt is like, three inches long. Are you really sure?"

I held up my hand. "Of course! I have a scarf, so I won't be cold."

"Are you-"

"YES MOM! Lemme sleep now," I pushed her out and slammed the door. That woman was a stalker, I tell you.

Flopping on my bed, I took out my notebook of adventures, and wrote a story.

The words went like this:

_"And tomorrow, I'll go on an adventure with my idiot friend Racade. Along with an unknown (stalker) boy, and meeting up with evil villains. _

_I could really use cake now..."_


	2. Always Leave an Alarm on Your Bed

**Chapter 2 **

_Thump_. That was the sound of me hitting my head on the floor. My eyes were bleary, but clear enough to tell what time it was. 7:15 AM. Early.

The covers seemed to magically pull themselves up, but that wasn't strange seeming as I was still half asleep. I got up and for some reason I was at the edge of the bed. Turning over I felt a large item right on the bed next to me. Did I have a pillow that big? I don't remember.

My eyes were still pretty blurry, so I felt the item. I reached its head, and I touched what felt like a nose. It sneezed.

Laughing silently, I turned around and closed my eyes.

Hold on...

It sneezed?

My eyes opened wide and I turned around again, only to face what only a nightmare would dare put in my bed. Racade.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" I fell backwards, the blankets and pillows coming down with me. Racade sat up, wide eyed and awake.

"YOU IDIOT!" I started hitting him with my pillows. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!"

Racade held his arms up, attempting to block my furious feather attack. "Ack! Dawn! I didn't- hey! Lemme talk!"

"Oh, you better talk! You slept in my bed! ... EWWWW!" I started wiping my hands on my clothes. "That isn't right! Don't tell me you wanted what I think you wanted!"

We both stared at each other, then let out a yowl. "EWWWWW!"

I could hear my mom from downstairs. "Dawn? I'm coming up there."

I grabbed Racade's arm and tried to smash him behind my TV.

"That won't do!" I yelled.

I picked him up again and tried attempted to hide him in my very skinny closet. "My nose!" He groaned.

"Shut up and hide," I banged his head on the box springs under my bed, and he let out another groan, but at least he wasn't in view.

My mom opened the door, her usual dark blue afro a bit out of shape. She had a purple nightgown on and was holding a cup of coffee. "Morning dear," She said in a groggy voice. "What's with the racket?"

"Just doing... uh... jumping jacks! I hit my... toe... on the bed!"

She blinked for a second. "Okay dear, come down when you're done." She closed the door.

Racade popped out and rubbed his head. "Ow ow ow. Dawn, that wasn't lady-like you know."

"Shut up and talk," I snapped.

"Alright, alright!" He stood up and stretched. "I snuck in so we could go to the lake early so we can see that red Gyarados first! My mom doesn't let me out until she's awake, and she's usually up by noon."

"So, you're breaking your mom's trust and snuck out just so we could break the rules?" I smiled. "I like. Alrighty, you go down the window and I'll go downstairs and exit."

Racade opened the window and looked down. "Hey, Dawn, this is a two-story drop."

"That's the point!" I pushed him and he flew right out the window.

"YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!"

_Thud._

I got dressed and went downstairs. "Bye mom see you later!" I yelled quickly.

Outside, I saw Racade still on the ground, his face eating the grass.

"Moo," I said, walking up to him. "You alright?"

Racade never seemed to get injured. It's like, you can crash him into a brick wall, and he'll never break a thing. This time was no exception.

He looked up, a bit of grass stuck between his teeth. "Thank you Dawn!" He yelled sarcastically. "I could of died!"

"That'd leave one less problem. Ready or not?"

Racade forgot his anger and stood up, spitting out the grass. "Pachooy! Yup! Let's go!"

We walked a little in silence - well, if you could call Racade's horrible singing silence - so I spoke.

"Racade, my mom said we can't ever walk in grass. Wild Pokemon might appear."

He laughed. "Don't worry Mrs. I-Hate-To-Be-In-Trouble, we won't."

He started singing again.

_"Oooooh, we're on the way,_

_Getting ready to play,_

_Where the sun is pink,_

_And my feet really stink!-"_

My eyes were twitching. I couldn't take the horrible anymore! I tackled him, then sat on him, and grabbed his hair.

"Stop... singing!"

Racade's head bent back. "Aaaagh! Okay!"

We arrived at the lake, and found a really really really really really really really REALLY old guy next to an ugly monkey. Hold on, was that a human? Hard to tell.

The old guy was talking to the chimp about something. Probably about how he fought the Revolutionary War or something. Which, for those who don't know, happened a long time ago. 1775 I think. I don't know; I never payed attention in history.

Anyway, they turned around and the old guy looked at us.

"Pardon us, please."

Psh, who says please anymore? We say, "Move over, or I'll shoot you in the eye!"

But, since we're so nice, we moved.

Racade turned around and stuck his tongue at their backs. "I hope they didn't see that Pokemon. C'mon, let's go see if we can find that-... Hey! They left their suitcase!"

We walked up, but I grabbed the back of Racade's shirt and pulled him back.

"Hey, Dawn, let me see!"

"No you dope head! Look, grass," I pointed to a large thing of grass.

"We'll mow it later. Come on, we won't be in there long!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're stupid. Wanna get your head shot off?"

"Uh... no," Racade said.

"Then DON'T GO!" I shouted, punching him on the face.

Racade stood back and rubbed his cheek. "Alright, but how do you know if they didn't catch that Gyarados, and in the suitcase it's in there! Or it could be money! Or jewels!"

I pushed Racade aside and marched in the grass. Racade walked next to me.

"You want to see if that Gyarados is in there?"

I picked up the suitcase and shook it. "Nah, I want the money."

"Oh..."

"STARLY!" Yelled a Pokemon.

It tried to use peck, but I slapped it aside, and turned back to the suitcase. "Yeah, yeah. Alright, so we just pop the case here..."

Pop!

It opened and revealed three Pokeballs. Racade and I looked in disappointment. No money!

Racade picked one up. "Well, it could be rare, right?" He threw it and a Pokemon popped out.

"Uh... what the HECK is that thing?!" I yelled, pointing to the plant... turtle... thing.

"I don't know Dawn, but it looks cool! Come here little Pokemon!" It charged over, wagging its tail, then chomped down on Racade's entire head.

"AAAAAAHHH! Get this thing offa me!" He yelled, running around in circles.

I picked up a Pokeball. "Alright, I'll help you. You owe me though!" I threw it, and a so-cute-it-makes-me-want-to-barf Pokemon came out.

"Huh, what the heck are you?" I asked it.

"Piplup!" It jumped in my arms.

"Heh, well, I guess you are kinda..." The penguin looked blank for a moment, then looked up.

My eyebrows raised. I looked down, then screamed. "ACK! Racade, this... this... THING whizzed on me!"

Racade was sitting on the ground with the Pokemon still attached to his head. "That's great, now if you may Dawn, do you mind GETTING THIS THING OFF MY HEAD?!"

Marching over, I looked at it. "Get off, otherwise I'll pound you."

The Pokemon let go, its tail wagging. "Turtwig!" It said. Piplup jumped in the lake, splashing us all over.

"Hey!" We both yelled.

Then, the monkey from earlier came running over, looking worried. "Oh, where'd I put that thing...?" He looked at us, and shook his head, moaning. "Nooooo!"

"What?" I asked. "Look, just take them! Please!" I crawled down and grasped the monkey's legs. "Please, just take them away!"

He, it is a he right? Well, HE looked down. "Well, I gotta talk to the Professor about this. C'mon, we're going to Sandgem Town."

Racade walked up by me. "So, what's going on?"

"We're going to see a gem made of sand," I said.

The chimp sighed. "No, Sandgem Town. Come on,"

Racade skipped with the primate. "My name's Racade! And this is-"

"My name is about to murder you Racade. Stop being a pansy."

The guy looked straight ahead. For the first time, he looked at me, and I saw a look.

A bad look.

A look I really didn't want to see.

He walked over to me and took off his hat, and then smoothed his hair back. "Hiya, are you dating?"

_WHACK!_

_WHAM!_

_WHOOSH!_

_THUD!_

He landed on the ground, his face red. "Huh, that usually works," he mumbled.

"No," I said, my foot on his head, "I'm not. But I'm not going to with you anyway."

Racade ran over to a huge building. "Is this where that old guy lives?" He asked, staring at the door.

The guy stood up, rubbing his face. "Yeah, alright, come on in."

I took out my Book of Adventures and wrote something else.

It was like this:

_"Here we are, in the place where a guy that knew Adam and Eve lives, and his pet monkey._

_Hm... this book smells like coconut."_


	3. The Idiot Trio but I don't Count

**Chapter 3**

The room inside was HUGE! Scientists were running back and forth with papers being carried. Some were dissecting a Starly - ouch - and others were tinkering with a Pokeball.

Anywho, the odd dude was leading us through the hustle of scientists.

"Don't touch that!" He yelled several times at Racade.

Finally, after what felt like hours, he brought us to the really old guy.

"Professor, these two were playing around with the starter Pokemon," He said, looking at us.

The old guy just stared at us a long time, before asking, "What starters?"

The kid shifted uncomfortably. "Uh... Piplup and Turtwig, sir."

The old guy's face lit up, and he seemed to do a jig around the lab. "Da da daaa! Da daaa!" He yelled in delight.

Racade made the "cookoo" sign by his ear. The kid frowned at us, since we cracked up.

Finally, he danced over and sighed. "Yes, you may keep them."

"WHAT?!" We yelled.

"Piplup whizzed on me!" I yelled.

"Turtwig bit me! On my head!" Racade whined, looking at his Pokeball.

The professor only grinned. "Quit whining now, you kids are going to be Pokemon trainers! That's quite an accomplishment. By the way, my name's Professor Rowan. This is my assistant, Lucas. What's your names now?"

We mumbled it.

"What?" Rowan asked.

Racade scowled at him. "My name's Racade, pops."

"I'm Dawn, Grandpa."

Rowan frowned, and turned, handing us two thingamabobbers and five Pokeballs.

"Uh...?" We asked.

"Pokedexs," Lucas explained, putting his arm around me. "They record data on all the Pokemon in Sinnoh. Even legendaries."

I smiled, then took his arm, and flipped him, making sure he hit the ground hard. "Thanks for the info. I'll remember that."

Racade looked at his Pokedex and smiled. "That's it! I'm gonna be the best trainer ever!"

"Shut up Racade."

"Yes ma'am," He put it in his pocket.

Lucas stood up a little wobbly. "Well, better tell your parents! Your mommy's don't want to see that their children went away!"

Racade smacked him across the face, which was a surprise, since Racade never hits anyone. "Don't talk about my mom!" He screamed. "She's nice, unlike you!" He ran off, pushing scientists away.

"Racade!" I yelled. But he was too far. "Now look what you did!" I smacked Lucas even harder than Racade could ever even brew up. "You jerk!" I was seething. How could he do that to my best friend?

Lucas rubbed his cheek. "Sorry," He murmured. "Sometimes my mouth slips."

I couldn't help but feel sorry for this guy. I mean, he lives in a small town, working with an old guy who's expiration date passed long ago.

Rowan cleared his voice. "Now that this is over, Dawn, you go get Racade. Lucas, I want to tell you something."

I didn't stay to hear, but I ran after Racade. I caught him at the edge of town. "Yo, Racade?"

He looked up. "What? Isn't your boyfriend waiting?"

Walking to him, I sat by Racade. "He's not my... ugh... boyfriend. Look, Lucas said he was sorry. C'mon, cheer up you lump. I miss your ADHDness."

Racade chuckled. "Huh, yeah. Well, I guess we better be going to our mom's, huh?"

We both stood up, watching the grass move with the faint wind. We heard footsteps, running in our direction.

Lucas ran up to us, with a backpack. He gasped for breath, like he ran across Sinnoh or something.

"Hey, the Professor said my punishment... was to travel with you guys."

I screamed. Racade groaned. Technically, we weren't happy.

"Hey, hey," Lucas said. "It's not like I enjoy it! The only good thing out of it was you." He blew a kiss to me.

_WHACK!_

Lucas slumped to the ground again, a huge lump on his head. He moaned, saying random stuff under his breath.

Racade picked up Lucas, or should I say, the Lucaflirter.

We hopped down the ledge, and walked to Twinleaf Town. Racade's mom ran out and made him drop Lucas - which resulted in another groan. She hugged him, or suffocated him. Whichever you like.

"Moooooom! I can't breathe!"

She only crushed him tighter. "Oh, do you know how worried I was? Do you know how much trouble you're in?"

"Mom, I'm a Pokemon Trainer now," Racade gasped.

She dropped him. "A Trainer? When did I say for you to get a starter?"

I walked up to her. "Mrs. Racade's mom, I must apologize for the inconvenience, but we stumbled upon a slight accident and found starter Pokemon. Lucas here took us to Professor Rowan," We looked at the Lucaflirter, who was still on the ground, with a bump on his head.

She looked back and forth. "Honey, do you really want to-" She was interrupted by my mom.

"DAWN! Where were you?!" She stomped up, grabbing my hand.

"Mom, I'm a Trainer now!"

She let go, and smiled. "M-my baby! Grown up now!" Isn't it odd how mom's change emotions in an instant?

"I made the perfect dress for you, dear! Just in case this ever happened!"

My eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"You are going to enter contests, right? I raised you on them!" She seemed concerned.

I sighed, hoping my mom would cope. "Mom, I think contests are stupid. They're... boring. I don't want to pretty me, or my Pokemon up."

She looked confused, which was a first. "Dear, I thought you loved the spotlight..."

"Listen, I never knew I wanted to be a Trainer, but I want to be in the spotlight. The spotlight in the Pokemon League, battling."

My mom smiled slightly, but it looked sad. "Okay dear, do whatever you want. Just visit every once in a while. I like to try new recipes."

_You won't be seeing me. _"Of course mom."

Lucas groaned, and sat up, rubbing his head. "Huh? Erm... hi."

Racade's mom kept hugging him, but my mother took notice. "Ah, hello! Aren't you that boy who assists Professor Rowan?"

Lucas stood up, apparently proud to be addressed. "Yes ma'am. I am Lucas! Pokemon Trainer/Researcher."

I rolled my eyes, helping Racade escape his mom.

My mother nodded to every word Lucas was saying. Boy, he sure is a brown nose. But my mother was drowning in complements and how "wonderful and behaved this precious boy is," she claims.

When Lucas was _finally _done flapping, my mom whispered something disturbing.

"Dear, I really hope this is your boyfriend. He's such a good, behaved boy! A perfect match! Besides, opposites attract, am I right?" She smiled.

_Opposites also deflect too. _"No mom, I don't like him."

My mom frowned. "Oh, okay. Well, come back when you can!"

Racade's mom also let him go. "Yes, enjoy. Don't be like your father, and rarely come back, okay?"

"Yes ma'am!" We said together.

While we were walking, Racade decided to pull a funny.

"Hey, Dawn. I thought you liked FortuneShipping!"

I stood there, a slow fire in my eyes. Then it heated up, and I tackled Racade, punching him on the back. "You... take... that... back!"

"Never!"

Lucas looked confused at the fact the one moment, were just walking, and then the next, I was hitting him. But, hey, since Lucas is another stupido, he joined in.

"I smell TwinLeafShipping!"

Which, of course, resulted in twin poundings. The usual. Then, Racade found himself hitting Lucas. Man, I don't know why! This story isn't supposed to be a "normal" one, isn't it? A little mystery helps.

"Of course," I sneered, "we can have a little ClingyShipping, am I right?"

Racade was on top of Lucas, which made them blush and stand up, brushing themselves off in a panic.

Then, all three of us said something unimaginable. I don't even know why I said it.

"ScarfShipping!"

We three gasped. Looking at each other in confusion, and anger.

Racade only slapped his forehead. "Man, this part of the chapter doesn't make any sense!"

"What?" We asked.

"... Nothing. Come on, lets get out of here."

Like the (almost) friendly _Wizard of Oz _gang, we walked on the yellow road. Except there were no bricks, and we weren't singing. Except Racade, but that was dealt with quickly.

I took out my notebook, and making sure I didn't ram into any trees, I wrote.

_Now the gang is on an adventure, filled with very, very, VERY unpleasant surprises._

_Darn, I forgot to back soda._


	4. It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a Starly

**Chapter 4**

_"I've been working on the railroad,_

_All the live long day!"_

Racade sang, and Lucas joined in.

_"When we hear the whistle blowing...-"_

"AW, SHUT UP!" I screamed, pulling my hat down. We were in Sandgem Town, and I couldn't take it anymore already!

Racade sighed. "So, erm, I wanna catch a Pokemon. Dawn, how about you?"

I grunted, not in the mood to talk.

Lucas seemed enthusiastic. "Hey, I can teach ya!"

He ran into the grass and signaled for Racade to come over. He did, and they layed down. Racade seemed bored.

"Er, now what Lucas?"

He shushed Racade. "Hey, hey! Shush! I'm waiting..."

Then, a Bidoof popped up from the grass, chewing on a piece of bark. It made a little "Bidoof" sound.

Racade looked at Lucas. "I don't wanna catch THAT thing!"

Lucas frowned. He turned to the Bidoof, but it was too slow to run away. Fat beavers...

"Hey, I'll catch it. Alright, Flamey, GO!" A... MONKEY?! I was right about Lucas! He is a chimp!

"Flamey, use scratch!" Flamey layed down. Racade snorted and I laughed out loud.

Lucas groaned. "Flamey! Don't do this to me!" Flamey stuck his tongue out.

We were rolling. And I mean crying from laughter. Lucas was begging it.

"Please?"

"Chim."

"Please?"

"Chim."

"Pleeeeeeease?"

"Chimchar!"

"Ugh!" Lucas growled. "I got a... er... a cookie?"

He looked up, his eyes clearly saying he was interested.

"That's right," Lucas grinned. "Come to the dark side, we have cookies..."

"Chimchar!" He leaped up.

We stopped laughing, and sadly we got up. Cookies always ruin the fun!

"Ok, now Flamey, use scratch!"

Flamey ran over to the Bidoof, and scratched it. It fell over, like that weak little scratch was a Hydro Cannon or something.

"Pokeball, go!" The ball sucked it in with a flash of light, and shaking three times, it stopped. Racade and I looked impressed. I mean, that guy does have some talent.

"Cool! That's how you catch it. Like it Dawn?" He winked.

Do I even have to say it? Alright. _WHACK!_

Lucas wobbled by a tree with his hands on his forehead. "Hey, hey! That's not nice."

"I'm never nice," I commented, leaning on a tree. "Okay Blondie, your turn."

Racade twirled like a girl. Seriously. "Yay! Okay, where's a Pokemon?"

Then, something that looked like a meteorite flew right towards us. Sadly, "us" meant me.

"It's a bird!" Racade yelled.

"It's a plane!" Lucas pointed.

I looked up. "No, it's a bird." That was all I could say before the bird slammed into me, practically giving me my own grave. The bird was a Starly, and I was on the ground. Oh, sure, you guys like the Starly more. There's ten thousand of them! I'm more important!

Racade and Lucas ran over to me, and Racade looked at the Starly, who flapped up, pecking my head a little.

Lucas nudged Racade. "Hey, bring out your Pokemon."

Racade nodded. "Okay! Let's go... erm..."

I groaned. "Bring out your thing," I mumbled.

Lucas looked confused. "Uh, hey, what's wrong?"

"I don't know what to name my Turtwig."

Lucas shrugged. "Name it something that it likes to do, or what it looks like. I named my Flamey because it's a fire type."

Racade smiled. "Coolio! Alright, come on out, Glompy!"

"There's a nice- wait, what?"

The Turtwig popped out, charging for Racade, biting its head. "Hey! Glompy! Get off!" Glompy jumped down, wagging its tail.

"Tur!"

I stood up, strangling the Starly. "You stupid do-do bird!"

Glompy charged for the Starly, knocking it aside. "I wasn't done ranting!" I yelled.

Then, my little whizzing Piplup popped out, cutely squeaking its noise. "Pip!"

"Alright," I kneeled, "I'll call you Whizzy from now on. Okay?"

Piplup didn't seem to understand, but hey, not like I care.

Glompy ran around the Starly, but it was already on the ground. That bird is weak!"

Racade looked down. "Hey, I don't got no Pokeballs!"

Lucas snapped his backpack up quickly. "Oh, you don't? So sorry."

I narrowed my eyes at Lucas. "What's in there?"

Lucas pursed his lips, backing away. I grabbed his arm,

But then,

Then,

Lucas did something diabolical.

He thought I was grabbing his arm for a nice little lip-lock. So, he grabbed my waist and kissed me.

Racade turned a tomato red and bared his teeth, almost growling.

(Please note the following details have been cut out due to a very painful punishment made by me, Dawn, which includes very painful results to Lucas. Due to this story's K+ rating, this part was too violent for younger audiences, so please hold on).

I hit Lucas against the head with a rusty shovel.

(Oops! Too soon!)

Lucas walked with us with a bandage wrapped on his head, with an extra layer around his mouth. You know, so he doesn't get killed again.

Racade was looking down, and every time I'd say something, he'd only grunt and mutter. Man, what is wrong with this guy?

Lucas stopped me, and signaled to Racade to wait for us.

"Hey, Dawn," He said to me in a muffled voice.

"Hm?" I walked over, bracing myself.

Lucas shifted awkwardly. "I think I know why he's so upset," He sighed.

I looked over at Racade, who was pounding the tree with a stick. "Okay, what?"

"When you and I, you know, I think Racade didn't like that."

I raised my eyebrow. "Oh, why's that?"

"I think Racade, you know..."

I laughed uncomfortably. "It's not like... Racade would, you know."

Lucas started walking. "Girls like you are so clueless."

"Hey!"

Racade noticed us and nodded ahead, looking normal. If you could call ADHDness normal. "Jubilife!" He yelled, smiling.

We looked ahead, and it was true. We were in Jubilife.

I took out my handy-dandy notebook.

_This is Jubilife, a huge city._

_Maybe if I'm lucky, they'll get run over._


	5. Ninety Nine Pokeballs

**Chapter 5**

Jubilife City, the biggest city I've ever layed eyes on. It looks so un-roomy, like capsule hotels are or something.

Racade, however, drowned in all of the neon lights and signs and car crashes and thefts. Lucas just looked at the buildings. I, however, was determined to explore every inch of this city, meaning this story will be longer! Fear me!

Lucas flipped a coin to this homeless guy. Pretty nice thing to do. I would of done it, but I'm broke.

We took a left, and this woman stopped us. "Sorry, you can't move any farther. Only those with at least one gym badge may enter."

Lucas told her to, well, to "F" off and we left.

Seriously, a brown nose like Lucas saying that to a woman? Impressive.

_Lucas is kinda cool._ I thought, but then I blushed, and slapped Lucas.

Racade chuckled as Lucas rubbed his cheek. "Yowza Dawn, what the?"

"It's my cool award. Don't push it."

Lucas made a "score" sign as we walked. Racade looked up.

"Hey! There's that Starly from earlier!" He cried, pointing to the bird flying down.

FLYING DOWN?!

CRASH! Lucas got his own hole this time, and the Starly looked up, then chirped. Lucas mumbled something and stood up. He unwrapped his bandages, but because this is a story where everyone heals quickly, all the bumps and bruises disappeared.

Racade grabbed Lucas's backpack. "Where's a Pokeball?" He yelled.

He made an "aha" sound, as he pulled one out. I took the bag and counted. Ninety-nine Pokeballs?

Racade and I looked at each other, then started stealing his Pokeballs. "Hey!" Lucas cried.

In the end, we only got five Pokeballs each. The Starly flapped on Racade's shoulder.

"Hey, wanna be my second Pokemon?"

It chirped, flapping its wings.

Racade threw the Pokeball, and it shook, then stopped. He picked it up and did a victory dance. "Hey! I got a Starly!"

I rolled my eyes, and started walking. Racade jogged up by me. "Hey, so, what Pokemon do you want?"

"If I tell you will you get run over?" I asked.

Racade laughed. "Hey, c'mon, I got their Dex entries. I'm sure you only have one."

I looked at a billboard sign that read, "_Cover Girl Make-up_", and it had the picture of a woman's face with make-up on it. An overdose of make-up. I looked at him. "Yeah, so?"

Racade shrugged, and ran over to Lucas. "Hiya pal!"

Lucas raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Uh, hiya... buddy."

Racade wrapped his arms around Lucas, and smiled. "So, we're trainers buddy. But, my Pokemon are awesome and stuff, so watch out."

"Shut up Racade," I demanded.

"Yes ma'am."

We were interrupted by a fat guy, smiling a little oddly.

"Uh, hi," I replied, wrinkling my nose. "May we help you?"

The guy did a little dance, before leaning over to me and shoving a pink watch in my face. My head bent back. "Hello little girl, these are Poketches. Would you like one?"

"In a different color maybe," I said, my neck bending down lower.

The guy bent back up, laughing. "Ho ho ho!" (Ho ho ho? Is this fat guy Santa?) "Collect three coupons from clowns, and I'll reward all three of you with Poketches!"

Racade jumped up. "Oh, joy! C'mon you guys, let's get some watches!"

"Poketches," Lucas corrected.

"Whatever!" He grabbed my arm, and I grabbed Lucas's, then we sped off.

We saw a clown right in front of something that read "Jubilife TV".

Racade ran over to the clown. "Hiya Mister Clown! Can you give us a coupon?"

The clown shook his head, and patted Racade. "I'm the Poketch campaign clown. To get a coupon, you have to answer a question! Okay, can a Pokemon hold an item?"

Racade and I said something real intelligent that went like, "Durrr...," And I swear Racade was drooling.

Lucas said, "Yes. Pokemon can hold items."

The clown clapped and handed us all three coupons. "Ding ding! You're absolutely correct! A Pokemon may hold a single-"

"Yeah yeah," I took them and walked across the street.

A clown that looked exactly like the other one smiled. "I'm a Poketch cam-"

"Question," We all said boredly.

"Does a Pokemon grow by defeating others and gaining Exp. points?"

"Yes," We all answered.

The clown stood on his tip-toes and gave us three coupons. "Good!"

We walked across town and saw the last clown, who was walking in front of what I think was the Poketch headquarters.

"Hi! I'm-"

"The Poketch campaign clown," We said.

"Good! Now, you're question is: Just-"

"Yes."

The clown forced another smile. "Yes, but just like-"

"Yes."

"Yes, but-"

"Yes."

The clown took off his red nose and squeezed it like one of those stress relief balls. "Good," He said through grated teeth, "you win a coupon."

We took them and walked over to the center of town, where Santa was waiting. "Ho ho ho!" He said, collecting the coupons. "Here are your Poketchs!"

I stared at my pink one, while Racade and Lucas smiled at each other. "Merry Christmas," I mumbled.

Lucas noticed me and cocked his head. "Uh, sweetie pie, what's wrong?"

I growled at Lucas. "One, shut up. Two, I don't like pink."

Racade snorted. "You're wearing a pink skirt."

"Shut up!" I yelled, smacking Racade. I actually missed doing that, since I've been smacking Lucas more often. Even Racade missed it.

"Heh, nice for a flashback," He grinned, rubbing his cheek.

I didn't want to be caught dead in a pink watch, so I resulted in what I never wanted to do. Beg.

"C'mon, at least give me your blue one!" I begged Lucas, grabbing his ankle.

Lucas smiled. "Gimme a kiss, then become by girlfriend, and I'll give it to you."

I switched to Racade's ankle. "Orange one at least! PLEASE!"

Racade raised an eyebrow, laughing. "Heh heh, no thanks."

"Fine!" I stood up. "Orange and blue are ugly colors anyway!" I begrudgingly attached my Poketch.

Racade ran down over to a building. I assumed he went because it was orange.

Lucas and I shrugged and walked over where Racade was reading a sign. "Pokemon Trainer School" it said. Gee, this kinda reminds me of when Racade and I were in school at around age five...

_"Okay class," Mrs. Gotsdonuts said. "Take out your science project!"_

_Racade and I giggled. We picked up a volcano made of wood, Plutonium, Uranium, and, of course, magma._

_The volcano had an odd glow in it, in which some students started growing pimples on their faces. Some turned green! One student started crying. _

_"Ah, yes. Dawn and Racade, you mind showing us your volcano?"_

_Racade laughed almost evilly and light it with a match. The chemicals started bubbling over. "It lives!" I screamed, jumping on the desk._

_The volcano blew up, while Racade and I ran out in the hallway, peeping over where the walls were steaming and the students' hair were falling off. We high-fived._

_They let us go because we were only five, but Mrs. Gotsdonuts had to go to a mental hospital. We "claimed" she planted a bomb in the classroom._

I stood there dreamily at the sign, while Lucas pondered at the school. "You know," He said, "this looks like fun."

But Racade was already inside. He was looking at a chalkboard, with stuff that said _poison, sleep, blah blah._

I tapped on his shoulder, and he jumped. "Heh, woah Dawn! You scared me!"

I looked at the board. "Uh," I said boredly, "I thought you hated school."

"I do," Racade replied. "But there's no teacher."

I turned around, and he was right. There were paper airplanes, fighting, and Pokemon battles around us. It looked like you taught yourself, which didn't make sense. Whatever, at least you could have some fun!

Lucas grinned and read a chapter of a book, draining all of what he could get. He looked at me and grinned, patting the seat next to him. I grabbed the erasers for the blackboard, carrying them with me. You know, for safety.

He smiled as I sat, pushing the book towards me. I sarcastically smiled and looked down. _Blah blah blah blah yak yak_ was all I could see from the book.

Lucas rubbed my back. So, grabbing the erasers, I clapped them together and chalk dust poofed all over his face.

"Blech, yuck!" Lucas coughed.

Racade grabbed my arm and brought me to two trainers in what looked like a very tiny gym. There were two trainers.

"Hi!" Said one guy. Geek, to be corrected.

A slightly less nerdy but still brainy girl grinned at me. "Hello! Are you guys here to challenge us?"

Racade nodded. "Cool! Okay, Dawn, you handle the girl."

The boy laughed. "Ladies first. C'mon Christine, defeat this trainer!"

Christine giggled, raising her Pokeball. "I don't study Pokemon for nothing! Come on out, Abra!"

A... thing popped out from it. It was taking a snooze.

"Abra!" Christine wailed. "Of all times, you have to sleep?"

I took out my Pokeball. "Okay, Whizzy, don't fail me now!" I threw it, and Whizzy popped out. "Piplup!" It cried, leaping on me.

"WHIZZY YOU DUMB PIECE OF CRUD!" I screamed, my shirt all damp. Whizzy lived up to its name alright.

Whizzy only laughed what could be called a laugh. I checked Whizzy's stats.

"Pound and Growl. Okay, use Pound!"

Whizzy hit the sleeping Abra, but it didn't die or whatever they're supposed to do. Instead, Christine laughed.

"Is that all you got? Okay Abra, Hidden Power!"

Snore.

Christine jumped up and down in frustration. "I... hate... this!"

"Pound!"

Whizzy pounded it, and the Abra still refused to die... er... whatever.

She wailed. "Hidden Power! Don't do this!"

Still snore.

"Pound!" I yelled, bracing myself.

Whizzy pounded one last pound, and at last, the Abra toppled over. "NOOOOO!" Christine cried, returning it.

The geeky boy snort-laughed, which didn't sound right. "C'mon Christine, you're going to be fine."

Christine glumly gave me 120. Hey, it may not be much, but money's money! Then, for worse luck, an awakening fell out of her bag.

"... I'm not even going to bother," She said, her face red in shame. "Harrison, show them how you battle!"

Harrison threw out a Pokeball. Figures, it's an Abra. But it was awake.

He laughed. "Tough luck, sir. Unlike Christine's, my Abra is awake!"

Racade gulped, and he threw out Glompy. "Glompy, don't kill me!"

Glompy ignored Racade's plead and bit his head. "AHHHH! WHY?! LET GO!"

I ran over and pulled off Glompy. Glompy wagged its tail and took a battle pose. Oh, what a day it is.

"Abra, use Hidden Power!" The Abra released a MEGA AWESOME POWERFUL SEQUENCE OF PSYCHIC POWER CAPABLE OF TAKING DOWN ARCEUS!

That bounced off of Turtwig like a rubber ball.

Racade laughed, and made Turtwig use Tackle. Due to the Abra's absolutely pitiful defense, it fainted.

Harrison turned red shouting, "Gary Stu! Gary Stu!" Over and over, finally giving a happy Racade 120 bucks.

We walked out of there, with my Pokemon in their Pokeball. Lucas checked his Pokedex. "Sweet, new data. Okay now, where are we going?"

Racade pointed upwards, where grass and stuff was waiting for us. There was a cave too.

But, I didn't object, as we went upwards over to the cave. I was about to take out my notebook, when I felt something in my bag.

"Huh?" I opened it, and a parcel fell out. "Cool! It's something to whack Racade with!" I said happily, rolling it up and wacking him in the head with.

"Ow! If there's- ow! If that's a- ow! I want to see it! Ow!"

"No!" I exclaimed, whacking him with it.

Lucas took it out of my hands and opened it, showing the lable to us. "To: Racade" it read.

Racade took it and opened it, with three town maps falling out. "You know," I said, picking one up, "the game only had two."

Racade looked at it. "Yes, but because Animalluver put Lucas in this, there has to be three."

"Oh!"

Racade took out a script and put on glasses. "Score! It's a town map! But there's two extra ones in here. Why don't you two take these?"

We pulled out our scripts. "Of course, dumb butt," I read, "this one's mine."

"Yes, thank you Racade. You're the almighty hero of the world and the best trainer ever. You are a Go- huh?" Lucas looked at some pen marks on the paper. They were hand-written, by only one guy. Racade.

Lucas threw the script in the trash can. "Why does the author do this to us? She obviously favors you Dawn, I mean, I gotta constantly get hit by you."

"You do realize she's typing everything up, so therefore we do not exist," I said, my eyes rolling.

Racade scratched his head. "You guys are confusing me. Can't we just get going?"

Lucas nodded. "The reviewers will be mad if we don't. But first," He whacked Racade with the town maps, packed it up, and walked.

Racade shrugged the sting off and followed. I, however, took out my notebook.

_Next city... I have no idea. North of Jubilife. I swear, if there's something blocking our paths, I'm going to hurt them. _

_Do you smell honey or is it just me?_


	6. Electrocution Makes Your Hair Poof Up

**Chapter 6**

Lucas, Racade, and I walked in silence. Lucas was fiddling with his new Poketch, and Racade was biting air. ... He's so weird.

We walked in the tall grass, and Racade rammed into a tree, with Lucas following shortly behind. I glared at them, my arms crossed.

"I think I broke my nose," Racade moaned. Lucas pushed him away, coughing.

"Dude," Lucas winced, "what kind of cologne are you wearing?"

Racade grinned. "I made it myself! It's made of buffalo-"

"Nahaha!" I interrupted, shoving Racade into the little pond. For no reason, I may add.

Racade's hair was wet, but he still looked like his happy, ADHD self. Lucas pointed his finger in the air. "Ahha! I know!"

"What?" We both asked.

Lucas picked a flower from the ground and held it to me. "Mamma always said that flowers from water were even better than roses," He kneeled, holding the flower to my face.

Lucas ended up in the water after that.

We took one step, and a little kitty popped up, poking its nose in the air. "Shinx!" From the noise it was making, I could tell it was a girl. My cute senses were taking over me. I tried pushing it back, but I fell in love with that thing. "SO CUTE!" I screamed, before getting shocked.

My hair poofed up, and my hat fell. Cuteness fell, and annoyance kicked in. "Why you no good rotten little-" I enlarged my Pokeball. "Just for that, I'm going to catch you!"

Shinx wagged her tail, mewing. I threw out Whizzy. "Pip!" It said, waving its fins in the air.

"Uh..." Lucas said.

"What?"

"Shinx is an electric type!"

"So? Use Pound!" Whizzy hit it, but she stood still.

"I HATE YOU!" I screeched.

Racade threw out Glompy. "Help her out! Use-"

CHOMP!

"Not on me!" Racade yelled, running around.

Lucas sighed, slapping his forehead. Glompy hopped down.

"Use Tackle Glompy!"

The Turtwig tackled the Shinx, pushing her back.

"Pound!"

Whizzy Pounded her, and I threw the Pokeball.

Wiggle... wiggle... wiggle... ding! Yes! I scooped it up. "Alrighty then, you're mine now!"

Lucas took my hand. "You looked beautiful doing it too!"

_Whack!_

He stumbled, and held his nose. "My nose! You made it bloody!"

Racade snickered, but he ended up in the water. "Okay ding-dongs, move! We've got another dang city to go to!"

Then, three trainers stepped up in front of us. "Well, well," a boy snickered. "Three trainers! Let's get 'em!"

Racade stepped up. "You're not gonna make fun of us without my permission! You'll battle me now!"

The boy laughed. "Alrighty then. Name's Tyler. Let's get a move on now! Go, Magicarp!"

What was expected to be an ultra powerful Pokemon, (considering he was showing off), wasn't exactly how I pictured it. A fish. Flopping around. How lame can you get?

Racade, on the other hand, frowned. "Man, this thing looks tough!" And he wasn't being sarcastic either. "Let's show them, Flappy!"

Flappy?

The Starly - or Flappy - flew out, before whamming Racade on the ground. "Good... boy..."

Lucas and I laughed. "You know," I teased, "that Magicarp's gonna Hyper Beam ya. Better run now!"

"Oh my God!" Racade exclaimed. "The Magicarp knows Hyper Beam?" Oh boy, he's dense...

"Use Splash!" Tyler yelled, watching flop... and flop... and flop... Wow, that thing's mesmerizing!

"Quick Attack!" Racade yelled to Flappy, pointing a finger in the air. No, not the middle finger, idiots.

Flappy flew at a very fast pace to Magicarp, before flinging it to the ground at an intense speed.

Tyler gasped. "M-Magicarp? My dad gave it to me," He sniffed, keeping back tears. "Grr... I'll show you! Starly, let's show them!"

Throwing the Pokeball, a Pokemon that looked _exactly _like Flappy came out. Might be Flappy's cousin twice removed maybe?

"Okay Flappy," Racade warned, "here goes nothing. Flappy, use Tackle!"

"Tackle!" Tyler exclaimed.

Both collided at incredible speeds. Racade's actually decent, after all!

"Quick Attack!"

"Quick Attack!"

Once again, both collided, except I think it broke the sound barrier. A huge sonic boom followed after it. I can't explain it, but it was amazing! Like two stupid birds were in sync, clashing like the Pokemon of time and space themselves!

Tyler and Racade's Pokemon ended up fainting after a last tackle. Just when all was lost, Racade's Flappy flapped up, shaking its feathers.

"I win!" Racade yelled happily, jumping up and punching the air.

One of the girls stomped up. "You don't do that to my pal! I challenge you, the boy with the red hat!" She pointed to Lucas.

"Er... me?" He asked, pointing to himself. Reason number five-hundred why I don't like him; he looks stupid when he asks questions.

"Yeah you," She rolled her eyes. "My name's Sarah. Let's go!"

Lucas walked up, taking out his Pokeball. "Don't fail me now. Come on out, Flamey!"

The Chimchar jumped out, beating its chest. Oh, so impressive.

"Bidoof!" Sarah cried, throwing hers. The beaver that Lucas caught from earlier wobbled out, yawning.

Racade and I exploded in laughter. You can't be serious! What kind of losers are they?

"Use Ember!" Lucas commanded.

Sarah screamed, as Flamey hit Bidoof with serious fire.

"Hah!" She yelled. "My Bidoof is great in defense! It'll take more than that!"

The thing is, when did Chimchar learn Ember?

Lucas growled. "I can't believe I forgot! How stupid am I?"

"Quite stupid," I joked.

"Use Tackle!" She exclaimed.

Bidoof slowly... and I mean slowly... tackled Chimchar. It was surprisingly hard, however. Flamey back flipped, landing on the ground.

"Scratch!"

"CHIMCHAR!" It exclaimed, scratching the Bidoof. It toppled over, dead- er... fainted.

Sarah started crying. "Noooo! I've never lost before! Come here my dear Bidoof!" She huggled it. Gee, why can't my Pokemon be like that?

"I can't believe you're so cruel!" The last trainer said. "Since you're the only one left, I challenge you! My name's Samantha by the way!"

"And?" I asked. Honestly, no one really cares about your name. It's just, like, you'd defeat them and move on. More than likely you'll never see them again anyway...

"And, it's proper etiquette!" Raise your hand if I'm "proper". That's right, I'm not.

"Okay Samantha, whatever. Er... let's go, Volty!"

Racade and Lucas doubled over in laughter. Hm... I wonder why the names end in 'y'? Maybe a running gag? Who cares.

The Shinx I caught ran out, electrocuting me. "EEEEEEYAAAAAAHHHHHH!!" I screamed, my hair poofing up again. "Okay, you dumb-"

"Budew!"

Budew? What the heck of a name is that?

She threw the Pokeball, and a plant... grass... pot... whatever it is popped out. "Budew!" It cried.

"Use Tackle Volty!" Volty tackled it, but the Budew stood still, jumping in glee. _What the heck? _I thought. _What dumb piece of crudinheimer is this thing?_

"Absorb!" She called. Green little dots started flying away from Volty at a rather fast pace. She looked like she was getting weak.

_"It's super effective!" _Called a voice in the clouds.

"Aw, shut up!" I cried.

I opened the Dex and checked the moves. Tackle and Leer? What a waste! I hope she learns a few moves when she - if she - evolves. At least, she better.

"Leer!" I called.

Her eyes sparkled, making Budew jump up. No sign of health loss, but she scared it. WHAT?!

"Absorb!" She cried again. Once again, green dots flew away from Volty and flew to Budew. Volty looked pretty bad right now. I wonder if she takes one more hit...

"Leer!" I cried out, praying for some damage. It only scared Budew. I could feel my face flush to a pale white.

"Absorb!" With that, Volty crumbled to the ground, fainted. I returned her, sighing. "If you fail me birdy, I promise you, you won't like me!"

I threw Whizzy out. It jumped in my arms and jumped out, leaving a wet spot. Lucas and Racade laughed even harder. "YOU KNOW, POKEMO-" I looked at the police officers walking around, peering at me. "Pokemon are kind, gentle creatures," I said, smiling. They nodded, walking again.

"Pound!" I ordered. Whizzy pounded it, knocking it out. "Say wha?" I asked.

Lucas searched the Dex. "Leer lowers defense, so a physical hit would hurt it a lot more."

Racade clapped. "Awesome! So, we win!"

Samantha picked up Budew, tearing up. "Aw... darn. This stinks!"

Tyler came up and handed Racade 80 dollars. He smiled. "Wow! This is sweet!"

Sarah walked to Lucas and gave him 112 dollars. Lucas waved the money in the air. "Ima get myself some mail to send to my mom! And Professor Rowan!"

Samantha handed me 112 dollars, also. I jumped, pumping my fist in the air. "Yeah-yeah! That rocks!"

Racade looked at us, pouting. "HEY! That's not fair!"

"Poor Racade," I teased. "Can't even get a decent amount of money."

"Yeah," Lucas grinned.

"Aw, forget it!" Racade sighed. "Let's just go into the cave."

-

"Uh..." Racade mumbled, looking at the rocks.

Lucas felt them, then withdrew his hand, sucking his finger. "Yow! The thing's ragged! It hurts."

"I can see that," I sighed. "Stupid rock!" I kicked it, and my toe smashed right onto a good spot. "OW!" I screamed, my eyes watering. I hopped, spinning around.

Then, Zubats flapped right to us. We all screamed, running out. Racade whined. "Oh... we battled all for nothing!"

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered. "Well, what now?"

"Why don't we go that other route?" Lucas suggested.

"WHAT?!" We screamed. "You knew there was another way?"

"I wanted to suggest it," He pointed out, "but you would of killed me for even trying to do something different." He's right, I would have! Clever.

Racade put his arms around both of us. "Well, let's look on the bright side, we get to walk around together!"

_I'm doomed._

Lucas and I laughed sarcastically. "Great," I said miserably.

_Another forsaken route with these two dumbnuts, _I wrote.

_If they don't get run over, I will myself._


	7. Never Share a Hotel With Idiots

**Chapter 7**

"I'm tiiiiiiired!" Racade whined, as we walked on the side of the road.

Lucas groaned. "Dawn, the sun's setting. Isn't it time to hit the hay?"

"Why don't you two shut up or you guys will hit the bucket!" I exclaimed, trying to ignore the screaming on my feet. I swear, it felt like the entire foot was a giant sore, not helping with the fact that I kicked that rock earlier.

Racade whimpered slightly, stopping a moment to let his feet rest a second. He took a step and sniffed. "I'm exhausted Dawn. Please, just let us sleep!"

I huffed. These two were such whiners. "Fine!" I growled, turning to a hotel. "We'll stay the night here. But tomorrow, I don't care if your feet fell of during the night, you people are coming with me!"

Racade and Lucas almost ran over me, as they charged inside.

"Lady! Lady!" They both yelled, running to the counter.

The lady bent back, smiling nervously. She had shoulder length light brown hair and a grey uniform. "Hello. How may I help you guys?"

I marched up. "How much for a night?"

"Ninety dollars per person."

"Gah! Such a rip-off." I growled, taking out my money.

Racade frowned. "I only have eighty dollars. Uh…?"

Lucas took out an extra ten bucks. "Here Racade, for you."

Racade almost started crying. "Lucas! Th-thank you!"

I sighed. "Okay crybabies, let's go."

The woman handed us three keys, two of which let Racade and Lucas share the same room. I opened my door, and it smelled like a usual hotel. Cold, but clean. It was nice. I changed into my pajamas, and fell asleep.

-

"_Wake up, wake up, on a Saturday night-"_

I threw the clock on the wall, breaking it. The sun beamed down on me, and I buried my head in the pillow. I didn't wanna wake up, but I had to. My eyes half closed, I put a foot down, but it went in something wet. I heard a gag.

Looking down, I noticed part of my foot inside Lucas's mouth, and his eyes were as big as saucers.

"YOU BIG DUMMY! WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I screamed, kicking him in the face.

Racade crawled out from under the bed and yawned. "Hey, Lucas, you blew our cover."

"Are you two idiots saying you're pervs?" I yelled.

Racade gagged. "Ack! No. I-It just gets lonely at night."

"Oh, really?" I replied, going to the bathroom to change my clothes. After that, I walked out, and threw the hotel manual at them. They screamed and ran out.

-

"Okay ladies! Here's what we're gonna do. We are about to head to Oreburgh City, so any stupidity will result in painful situations!"

"So, not even in front of the gym leader?" Lucas asked.

"No… wait… what?"

Lucas hid a laugh. "You've never heard of a gym leader? They're one of the most powerful trainers in Sinnoh! Defeat all eight, and you get a pass to the Pokemon League! Of course, when you defeat one, you get a badge."

"Can't be that hard. Look at my Pokemon!" Racade boasted.

Lucas glanced at us and shrugged. "Well, ready you guys?"

"I'm supposed to say that…" I scolded. "Onwards! To the gym leader!"

Walking mid-way, I wrote in my journal.

"_We're on a journey to Oreburgh City, where we'll meet a gym leader. Knowing what I've been through so far, it'll be just as idiotic as these two lumps."_

**A/N: It's… uh… supposed to be short. ^^;**


	8. There Are Too Many Trainers Out Here

**Chapter 8**

There was a long silence as we walked along the route East. Racade looked at the scenery, Lucas right behind me, and I lead the front. My foot still stung from that rock. You know what? My foot might become a plot-twist later on. Heh.

Anyway, we stopped in front of five trainers. They grinned at us, showing us their Pokeballs.

"My name's Michael!" A boy greeted us. "This is Dallas-"

"Texas?" Racade interrupted.

"No. And this is Kaitlin, Sebastian, and Madeline. You guys have to go through us to pass!"

I frowned. "So you're saying we need to beat you people in order to pass through?"

"Indeed."

Racade pushed me aside. "Okay! Bring it on!"

Michael and Kaitlin high-fived, as if it was their "battle on!" pose. "Double battle?" she asked him.

"What's a double battle?" Racade asked.

"A double battle is when two trainers send out their Pokemon. Since it's one against two, you would send out Glompy and Flappy. These two trainers would send out one," Lucas explained.

"Wow!" Racade grinned. "Being a trainer just keeps getting better and better! Glompy, Flappy, let's GO!"

"Bidoof!" cried Michael, throwing his.

"Kricketot!" cried Dallas. The boy, not the city.

Racade and I started cracking up on Kricketot. Seriously, some messed up bug! That makes a weird noise. You can't take it seriously!

"… Oh my goodness!" Racade gasped. "G-Glompy… Tackle!" He stopped. "Tackle! Tackle! TACKLE!"

CHOMP!

"GET OFFA ME!!!!"

Michael and Dallas laughed awkwardly as Racade ran around, then being pounded on Flappy. I sighed.

"Okay! NOW," Racade exclaimed when Glompy hopped off, "use Tackle! Flappy, use Tackle as well!"

With force, Glompy and Flappy slammed into the two Pokemon. Both fainted, due to the fact that they both suck. No, really. They suck.

"Zubat!" Michael cried hoarsely. "Leech Life!"

Flappy stopped for a second. What was a little needle doing in it? Then, the Starly began to shriek, and green dots flew over to the Zubat.

"Glompy, quick, use Tackle! Flappy, Quick Attack!"

Flappy flapped it's wings, then with incredible speed it pecked the Zubat! Glompy jumped up and knocked down the Zubat. Michael began to cry.

"That's sort of mean," Kaitlin commented. She and Sebastian stepped up. "We're going to have to teach this girl a lesson!"

Who gives a care? Oh well. "Okay," I sneered. "Sissy one and sissy two will fight me today?"

Sebastian - with tanned skin and a green sweater on, not to mention heavy-looking camouflage pants and boots - threw out his Machop. His dark brown eyes glittered. All in all, he was pretty hot.

Kaitlin - with short red hair and a black t-shirt then an orange skirt a little longer than mine - threw out her Bidoof. What was with those Bidoof?!

"Whizzy! Volty!" My Piplup and Shinx jumped out as I threw them both.

Bz… bz… BZZZ!!!!

I began screaming as Volty electrocuted me. I was ready to whack it with a book, but I thought the better of it.

"Volty! Spark! Whizzy, Pound!"

Volty just Sparked it. The Bidoof, I mean. And it fell over. …Seriously…

Whizzy, on the other hand, knocked into the Machop but didn't seem to faint.

"Machop! Use Low Kick on Starly!"

Lucas smirked as the Machop sent out a flurry of low kicks. Flappy just looked amused. "It's a type advantage!" Lucas teased. "Starly's normal type wins over Machop's fighting type."

"Use Wing Attack Flappy!"

Flappy dove into the sky, and then its wings began to glow. It dove downward straight into the Machop, and let its wings cut into it. Machop sidestepped, rubbing its side. Flappy flapped onto Racade's shoulder, chirping in amusement as the Machop fell.

"This is way too easy," Racade commented. Sebastian looked almost old and tired when he returned his Pokemon.

"Well, that sucks," he said aloud. "I've never lost before."

"You just did!" Racade exclaimed.

"No," we all turned to Kaitlin, whom seemed to look almost venting with anger. She furiously threw out a Pokemon. "BUDEW!"

The green blobagonomous, my very own nightmare. The one that got Volty. I wanted to strangle that thing!

"Absorb!" she cried out. The voice she used was like one of those high-pitched voices that those ladies use a lot. She was apparently trying to be "cute." Whatever that means.

Blobs of green spewed out of the Pokemon's head, being sent inside Flappy. Flappy flapped its wings like a chicken almost exactly like that time when that farmer's grandkid next door tried to play with it. Except this time we didn't have to go to a hospital, and the farmer had to be charged for assault for no reason at all.

Racade looked horrified. "Oh… that's bad! Glompy, use… uh… Tackle!"

Glompy charged head-first right into the Budew. It cried and flew backwards into the grass. "Now use Wing Attack!" Flappy repeated the same steps as for Machop, and the Budew fainted.

Kaitlin returned it and threw out another Pokeball. "Now, Starly!"

Racade, Lucas, and I gasped when another Starly was sent into the air.

"You may Growl Starly, to that other ugly Starly he has! And to that Turtwig as well!" That... what? Her Starly looks exactly like his! Her Starly opened its beak and emitted a strange growl. Flappy and Glompy shook their heads in distress. Glompy charged directly to it, but what should have been a one-hit KO, it wasn't.

"Growl lowers the attack stat," Lucas said to me as we watched. "Not by much, but it causes less and less damage that the user makes every time it's used. Wanna hold my hand if you're scared?"

I threw my backpack at his face.

"Come on Flappy!" Racade pleaded. "Please, use Wing Attack! Glompy, use Tackle again!"

After a double hit to her Starly, it fainted. Racade sighed with relief. Kaitlin, with a look of pure shock on her face, sidestepped and held her Starly. "Three powerful Pokemon! Oh… those self-inserts!"

"We're not self-inserts," I replied, mocking her. "We're just better trainers. And it's hard to lose to you people in the games."

Racade realized what I was doing. "Dawn! You were supposed to help me fight!"

"Well," I pondered for a second, "you looked so absorbed-" I paused and looked at Kaitlin's face, "-no pun intended- that I stopped the battle."

A young trainer stepped up from behind the group. She had long brown hair and large, glassy brown eyes. She blushed and looked down. "Uh…" she began saying. I swear, she sounds like Hinata from _Naruto. _I can't say much, otherwise you people will make me change this into a cross-over! "I need to battle. Can I battle the boy in the red hat?" Lucas's face snapped up, and the backpack sprawled on him fell to the side. He stood up.

"Hm?"

"I wanna battle you." Oh, I remember! This girl was Madeline. She was hidden when they introduced us to her. Wow, she looked like she's five… but don't you have to be ten to get a Pokemon? Now I'm just going off-track here. I mean, Lucas, Racade, and I are thirteen. Darn it! I need to shut up and keep telling the story.

"OUR SEXINESS WILL OWN YOU!" Racade screamed. I jerked my hair in an attempt to keep myself from screaming at that dumb guy.

"Well, okay," Lucas said after a moment. "Flamey, ready?" The Chimchar rubbed its eyes as it popped out so suddenly. It blinked and laid on the ground.

"You know," he sneered, "I'm about to-" He then stared at Madeline. Lucas sighed.

"Well, please? Lava Cookie?"

"Chim."

"No? Okay… uh… I'll fetch Dawn to eat you if you don't fight!"

I narrowed my eyes.

Chimchar stood up lazily and stretched. "Chimchar!" it exclaimed. It was one of those voices that screamed "I'm ready!"

"O-Okay, Bidoof. Please don't lose again…" she closed her eyes and threw the Pokeball. It was still tiny, and it bounced off the ground like a bouncy-ball.

"Er… Madeline?" Michael whispered. "You press the button and THEN throw it."

"Oh…" she picked it us and enlarged it. She then threw it. "Bidoof." That amazed me. She _whispered _its name. We better hope that Madeline doesn't end up in a large crowd of cheering spectators anytime soon.

Once again, the beaver opened its jaws and wobbled to the middle of the road.

"Flamey, use Ember!"

It burned it. Literally. And it fainted. Holy s-… never mind.

Both Chimchar and Lucas rubbed their eyebrows in an awkward win. Madeline returned it and mumbled the next one.

Starly. It ended up being another Starly.

"Quick Attack!"

WHAT?!

Flamey was tossed aside, and it rubbed its head in distress. "Use Ember again!" Lucas commanded.

Flamey, with high agility, burned the Starly. It flapped upwards. Clearly the attack took a chunk of health. Madeline began to look worried.

"Oh… please! Tackle!"

Old-school charge-straight-for-the-opponent attack. What else is new? After one final burst of fire, her Starly fainted. Madeline picked up her Pokemon and returned it. She wiped away a few tears that leaked down.

"Why?" she cried. "I always lose." Lucas walked up and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You know," he began, "try training a little. Then you'll be able to be a great trainer. You might be able to beat us if you catch up!" He held out his hand for her to stand up on.

She picked up her backpack and began moving foreword.

"W-Where're you going Madeline?" Michael exclaimed.

Madeline turned around to face them, her face beaming. "I'm finally going to become a better trainer! One that will travel everywhere, and not have to worry about passing trainers!"

The four trainers seemed to understand. The whispered to each other for a moment, the Michael gave her a handshake. "Alright," he said, "but win for us!"

"Don't we owe these three money?" Dallas asked.

Michael and Sebastian gave Racade a total of one hundred and ninety-two dollars.

Dallas and Kaitlin gave me a total of one hundred and seventy-two dollars.

Madeline gave Lucas eighty bucks and looked down. "Goodbye," she whispered, then walked away.

Racade gazed at his money then threw it in his bag. He then looked at me with gleaming eyes.

"Dawn! I challenge you to a Pokemon battle!"

_Now I must battle Racade. I hope I win…_


	9. Racade's an Idiot

**A/N Sorry for the lack of update guys. I know, the torches will come to me from my violent- er... WONDERFUL fans. Well, I'll try not to do that. XD**

**Chaper 9**

"You serious?" I exclaimed. My hands reached up to stroke my hair. It was a habit I got into, whenever I'd get nervous that would happen.

"Yeah," Racade took out his Pokeball and enlarged it. "You always treat me like dirt. Won't winning even me up with you a little?"

Of course that was impossible. What'd Racade think I am, some sort of softie? But he had an advantage over my Pokemon. His Glompy versus my Whizzy… I'm so doomed. If I bring out Volty against Flappy, then maybe I'd win that, but don't grass types win over electric types? Wow. Lucas is educational. Not to mention if I ever lost, Racade'd never let it go!

I was feeling rather nervous, which doesn't happen often at all. In fact, I once stayed up all night waiting for the Boogeyman, armed with a gold club and several books which I never read. Hey! I was five at the time!

Either way, this was going to be rather interesting.

"Well," I puffed out my chest like I was G.I. Joe and yelled, "I'm gonna beat you!"

Racade stepped back a few paces and exclaimed, "We'll see about that!" He back stepped, leaned forward, and threw his Pokemon. It was Flappy, luckily. That means I could use Volty!

"Volty!" I exclaimed, throwing the Pokeball as hard as I could. What? This was an epic battle, so I need an epic throw!

Yeah, well, I suppose I miscalculated the throwing range, and, instead, the ball flung itself onto Lucas's forehead with the speed that Babe Ruth could swing. Go me? Lucas screamed like a girl and fell backwards.

"Dude!" I yelled. "Are you okay!"

He somehow had a white flag and raised it above his head, waving it. Racade busted a gut. So Lucas chucked it into Racade's face.

"Okay, gimme my Pokeball," I sighed. Seriously, it's more fun once.

So after a quick fight over who gets to throw it, I caught my Pokeball and threw it a little softer. Volty hopped out, yawning.

"Why don't you go first?" I called. "Ladies always do that."

He pursed his lips impatiently and pointed his finger directly at Volty in an epic pose. "Use Quick Attack!"

Flappy flew up and its body slammed right into my Shinx. That's no way to treat MY Pokemon!

"Use Spark!" I cried.

Volty ignited in a flow of blue static, which electrocuted Flappy from a Starly to Sinnoh Fried Bird. It slammed into the ground, its leg twitching a little.

"Ah, shoot," Racade clicked his tongue. He returned Flappy. "That sucks. Well, I do save the best for last! Glompy!"

Best for last? Don't make me laugh. The thing ate Racade's head the moment it popped out. Racade went through his round of screaming and begging. Finally it jumped down after giving him an affectionate nuzzle.

So, I decided to return Volty, and I threw out Whizzy. After yelling at it for peeing on my clothes, it puffed out its chest like me and gave a tough squeak. Just to let you guys know, I'm the boss 'round these parts. I'm sure you all realized that of course.

"Whizzy! Use Tackle!"

I was winning! Of all things, I was winning! I felt all powerful. Hey, Racade's not bad, but I'm better. That was, I felt all powerful until Racade gave me a teasing smirk.

"Your Piplup still knows Tackle? Well, my Glompy knows Absorb!"

Argh! The evil grass-type move! The one that ruined Volty! Whizzy got so weak after that one. All of the damage in that Tackle did nothing. What could I do? Hope for the best? Tackle did a good bit of damage.

"Dawn!" Lucas whispered. He was on his feet, a small bump on his forehead from the ball. "Your Piplup should know Bubble by now."

"What're you people talking about?!" Racade exclaimed. "Can't you see I'm working? Lucas, butt out!"

"Hey!"

"Bubble!" I yelled.

Whizzy bent back and spit out a series of bubbles. They were pretty, but I have a feeling that it was made of spit. I messed up Pokemon for you guys, didn't I?

Anyway, Glompy got knocked backwards, but it stood its ground. Stupid Racade and his advantages. Luckily, Glompy looked exhausted. Really, how could it not be?

"Tackle Glompy!" Racade shouted. I was defenseless. I'm going to totally lose!

Then, Glompy fell on the ground. Racade's face was priceless. It was like he saw his own mother die or something. His eyes were as big as plates, mouth wide open.

"W-Huh?" he finally managed to say.

"I win!" I cheered. "WINNER! Take that, L-O-S-E-R!"

He looked totally bummed. Racade almost looked like a zombie. "What just happened? I lost?!" He groaned and slumped down. "WAAH! What do you mean I lost?! Well, that's it!" He punched the air with a determined face, "That's the last time I'll ever lose! I'm going to be the world's toughest trainer, and you know it!" He stood up and paced. "The first thing to do is to take on the Oreburgh City Pokemon Gym! I'm gonna toughen up for that, totally!" He seemed to screw up his face and laugh crazily.

"Call 911," I whispered to myself. "Racade, did you take your medicine?"

"What medicine?" he asked.

"… Never mind. Well, are we going to stand here or are we going to get going?" I asked.

"We're not leaving until I get another Pokemon." Lucas grabbed his Pokeballs and ran forward into the grass. He crawled around and screamed.

"What now?!" I exclaimed.

"A stick poked my butt!" he screamed.

"Baby," Racade snickered, before I poked him with a tree branch. He yelped and rubbed his arm.

"Hey!" Lucas cried, "I found something!" He looked at a sleeping Abra. "A psychic type. I'll catch it! Flamey, go!" He threw the ball, and the Chimchar popped out, bouncing around. "Use Ember!"

"Chim."

Racade and I fell on the ground laughing as the monkey sprawled on the ground, sleeping. Lucas grabbed his hat and threw it to the ground, stomping it.

"PLEASE?!" he cried.

"I dunno Lucas, maybe he's too worthy for you," I joked.

"Now Dawn," Racade said, "Chimchar is obviously Lucas's friend. I mean, who would eat, sleep, poop, and burp just like him?" We grabbed each other and laughed harder.

"Very funny guys," Lucas sneered. "I'm going to catch that Abra, just because I said so!" Because of Lucas's yell, the Abra woke up, looked around, and teleported. We busted a gut at Lucas's shocked face.

"But…"

"THIS IS WIN!" I screamed, clutching my hat as it slipped off. My stomach began to cramp up and I gave a short yowl from pain. Same with Racade.

"I'm going to catch it and prove to you guys that I'm a worthy trainer!" Lucas yelled, looking like he was going to cry. He marched off into the grass.

"Do you think we were too harsh?" Racade asked after a moment. He looked at the grass, concerned.

"… No." I shook my head. "He'll cry, you'll cry, but I, however, will never cry."

"'Course not," he mumbled.

All the while, Lucas scanned the grass carefully like the awesome assistant he is. He had taken off a branch from a tree and somehow stuffed his entire body with leaves. Racade and I looked at each other. Lucas knew what he was doing, I think…

"Come out…" he whispered, kneeling on the ground, pretending to be a bush. He looked around, and voila! Look, an Abra! No guys, don't cheer for him! Come on, he's… oh, forget it.

"YEAH DUDE!" Lucas jumped up.

Teleport.

Racade and I died laughing.

Oh, right, and Lucas said (or screamed) some words that would be bad to repeat. So…

Okay, lemme explain. The _second _tree-bush thing was sorta effective. He dressed up, yada yada, and then spotted the same one. How do I know? … Well, I don't, but it won't hurt to be descriptive.

"Pleeeeease don't fail me now!" Lucas quickly and quietly kissed his Pokeball and released Flamey. Let's get this party started.

"I'm just going to throw this Pokeball and hope it catches." He stared at the now-sleeping Abra, sweat pouring down his forehead from the concentration. If he doesn't catch it… the world will explode!

Geez, I just wanted to make it more dramatic.

Truth was, Lucas tripped over a root and the ball slipped from his hands. The Abra was thrown in, shake shake wobble wobble, and then ding! Look, an Abra.

"Alright!" The assistant grinned, held up his Pokeball, and exclaimed, "I caught an Abra!"

"Great!" Racade cheered, jumping up and down. I just crossed my arms. "What'll you name it?"

"Oh, gee whiz…" Lucas looked at said Pokeball. "Um… I'll name it Sleepy!"

Wow.

"Wait, where's Flamey?!" I exclaimed.

"Oh no!" Lucas threw a fit. He climbed over several trees, marched in the grass, cried, and went back to our original spot while I stood there, amused.

"Why won't you look with us?" Racade poked his head, upside-down, from on top of a high tree branch.

"'Cause I have a short skirt."

"Pff. Hey, look- OW! Yup. Lucas, I found Flamey!" Racade bent down and showed Lucas the monkey sucking on a berry. A small burn mark was on his cheek.

"Why did you get burned?" I asked.

"… It looked yummy." He pointed to the berry.

"Flamey!" Lucas climbed up and hugged the Chimchar, almost crushing it. It turned purple.

"Are we all gonna… you know… go already?" I asked. "I'm bored."

"Yeah! Sure! Sorry 'bout Flamey." Lucas rubbed the back of his head.

"Shut up. Lemme write." Taking out my wonderful journal, I wrote,

"_After watching these idiots run after an Abra, I'm tired. _

_Oh! Look! I'm hungry."_


	10. What? One Sided SmexyGlassesShipping?

**Chapter 10**

We were in silence as we strode across the pale road. I was in the lead, Racade, behind, and Lucas, as always, in last. Racade sneezed when some sort of dust bunny flew in his nose.

Anyway, with the backpack behind me and I read the map, Lucas sighed.

"What?" I asked without looking up.

"I'm just bored."

"'Kay."

More silence. We jumped across a cliff and entered a cave in front.

It was more long than wide. I saw some bats and rocks and some sort of blue thing. The cave was dark and had a few puddles here and there. There looked like there was an entrance, but it was blocked off. The first thing we ran into was a big, bulky guy that watched us. I may be strong, but come on, this guy could rip me into shreds! I watched carefully. Finally, he spoke.

"'Ey kids. You got a hidden machine yet?" I'm assuming he asked every kid that.

"Nope!" Racade exclaimed. "What're you talking about?"

"Oh? You don't? Come 'ere." We walked to him and the hiker showed us a disk. It looked bigger and thicker than a TM. "This," he said, pointing to it, "is an HM. They'll never run out and break if you use them." Convenient. "So you can reuse them every time. If I'm correct, there are six out there."

Six? And they're hidden? Dang.

"So this would be Rock Smash, right? It's brown," Lucas said.

"Smart kid." The hiker laughed. Or, in this case, bellowed. "It is! You need it to get to Floaroma Town."

I scowled. My toe was already throbbing.

"Here's the catch though. You need to defeat the Oreburgh gym leader to use it."

What sort of messed up world do I live in? At least explain it logically how a DISK knows when you defeat a gym leader. I didn't bother asking, though.

"I'll do it! … Do we need just one though?" Racade asked. He snatched the disk out of his hands.

"Oh, you'll need two more." The hiker dug in his HUGE brown pack and took out two more brown HM06 Rock Smashes. He handed then to Lucas and I. I looked at it.

"Looks like we'll need it to get to where we're going," I said after a moment.

"Indeed!" Lucas exclaimed. "Okay, now I'm excited! Are we going or what?"

"Not until you defeat me!"

We all turned. A boy with a green camping outfit raised a single Pokeball up in the air, grinning. "Hiya. My name's Curtis. 'Round these parts, me and my friend defeat trainers who think they can whoop our butts. Can I ask for the boy in the red hat and looks stupid?" I liked this kid already.

"The name is Lucas!" he exclaimed angrily. Looks like _someone _can't handle the truth.

"This would be the right time to use your new Pokemon," Racade said. No duh, Sherlock.

"Well, hurry it up!" I shouted. "I need to move someday!"

Lucas winked at me as he turned to the kid and took out his Abra's Pokeball. He stood back, sighed, and threw the ball.

"Sleepy!"

Once out, the Abra -- Sleepy -- blinked up at Lucas. Curtis smirked, throwing out…

A Shinx. Is that it? A tiny, little blue and yellow bundle of fur? Is THAT what made him so… full of himself? I'm not into him anymore.

"Sleepy!" Lucas cried, "Use Teleport!"

Well, it teleported. An inch in front. I'm starting to think that the Shinx is a lot more likely to win.

"Shinx, use Tackle!" Curtis pointed to Sleepy as he yelled the order our. With a tiny "Shi," it charged, bumping into it and sending the Abra flying backwards.

Now, in most cliché stories, the Pokemon would get some sort of tremendous power strike and/or gain a new move to defeat the opponent with. Alas, this was not the case.

Sleepy lived up to its name. It fell asleep. Isn't that awesome? Just like with what's-his-face!

Lucas groaned to himself. No, this wasn't a simple status problem. This was one of those things that proves just how freaked-up life can get. Like those old Nationwide commercials. But enough with my superior comments, let's get back to the show. Or… story. Whatever.

"Return!" Lucas recalled Abra and sighed. "Go, Flamey!"

Maybe the berries made it hyper or something, but the thing was ready to battle. Seriously. Sadly, I can't make a comment to make me seem all smart, so just keep reading.

"Shinx, use Tackle again!"

"SHINX!" It narrowed its eyes and padded quickly to Flamey, tackling it. Flamey sniffed and laughed as well as a Chimchar could.

"Flamey, use Ember!" Flamey blew out a few puffs of embers that caught onto Shinx and sent it packing. A statues effect: burn.

"What's going on?" I asked. Racade nodded like he agreed with me. He probably did.

"Didn't you guys read the board?" Lucas called, still focusing on the Shinx. Racade nodded again. Lucas rolled his eyes. "Well, this is one of the statues effects. Every turn, the Shinx will lose more health because it's burned. And…" he looked at the now-fainted Shinx, "it will faint if you give it enough turns without a Burn Heal." Curtis looked shocked.

"B-But…" The kid recalled his Shinx, sniffling. "I can't lose!"

"Sorry kid," I replied, grinning. "Give 'em the dough."

"Don't be mean!" Racade hissed. I kicked him in the gut. He groaned and grabbed his stomach.

Curtis marched over and the two fought because he refused to hand over the one-hundred twelve bucks. I had to take it from him and hand it to Lucas.

"You'll never defeat Diana!" Curtis shouted.

"Who's Diana?" Racade asked. On cue, a little girl that had a picnic outfit similar to Curtis's marched up. She looked like me, sort of. A frown plastered on her face. I kinda smirked.

"What'choo punks doin' to my friend?" she snapped, putting her hands on her hips, scowling. Curtis's eyes shined.

"Friend?" he said, smiling.

"Shut up!" Diana snapped again, slapping him. "Look noobs, this cave is OURS! I suggest you punks leave."

"Does it _look like _it belongs to you?" I asked, rolling my blue eyes. "I don't see a sign."

Diana marched up to me and tried to smack my face. I grabbed her tiny fists just as she tried to do so. "Nice try," I said, smirking wider, "but I'm smart."

She growled. "Whatever. I would battle you, but the blonde dork looks more interesting. And you're okay."

Racade grinned from ear-to-ear and danced kinda stupidly. Like, hop up and down stupid. "I wanna! I wanna! Go, Glompy!"

So he sent out the Turtwig that seized the moment to bite his head. Diana and Curtis looked at each other. Maybe Diana was sort of right. Racade's the noob…

She backed up and sent out her Pokemon. "Budew, go!" Not AGAIN. Another one of those tiny THINGS?! My respect for her drained. But, then again, they're both grass types, so no one's really weak to each other.

"Glompy! Tackle!" he shouted, jumping up and down again. Turtwig charged to the Budew, only to send it soaring, just like Sleepy and Flamey did. It ended up in one of those rigid rocks that stubbed my toe. In other words: ouch.

"Budew," Diana yelled, narrowing her eyes, "use Absorb!"

"Budew!" Budew hopped up and released those tiny green dots from out of the top of its green and yellow head. Seriously, you're all confusing me. I mean, yeah, it's cute, but why must you all cheer for it? You all suck.

Anyways, the attack really didn't do much. And because of its ineffectiveness, all hope Budew had to regaining health failed.

Racade smiled wider, if that's possible. He was having the time of his life. In fact, the guy was having trouble standing still. Well, it's that, or his ADHD was kicking in. But besides that, his orange eyes were, as far as I know, "sparkling with confidence and excitement." I think I need to wash my mouth out with soap…

"Glompy," he called, "use Tackle again and finish it off!"

"Tur!" Rushing towards it, Glompy smashed into the Pokemon and sent it crashing onto the walls of the cave. It slid down, fainted, as usual. Racade was cheering and whooping and making other ridiculous noises.

"YEAH! I'MA BEAT YOU NOW DIANA!" he screamed.

"SHUT UP!" I cried, throwing my bag at him. He fell with it in his face. "Let the girl fight!"

Racade stood back up and dropped the bag by his feet. He stood as Diana was screaming at her fainted Budew names I can't repeat.

"Return! Go, Psyduck!"

What NAME is THAT? PSYDUCK? And it didn't look any better. Why, its hands were on its forehead, just… standing there. Blank. Like Racade is at school.

"Glompy, Absorb!"

I can say that the battle lasted longer than what should be expected. I should say it was, in fact, a long battle. But, it wasn't. Once that Absorb hit the Psyduck, it fainted. It was pathetic. And it just… stood there! It was so sad. I shook my head in total disbelief. I think Diana knew it was coming, so she just sighed and returned it.

"Here… eighty bucks as promised…" she murmured. "But you'll never beat the gym leader."

Racade and I smiled. "We'll see!" he exclaimed.

I simply snorted and turned to the two. "Okay guys, let's get going. I wanna get the first badge over with."

----

The trip there wasn't hard at all. I mean, it was only a few inches until we stepped out into the sunlight that was Oreburgh City.

"Oreburgh! Here we are!" Lucas exclaimed, breathing in the ozone that was made from the coal mines. It was a decent sized town. A Pokemart, Center, and, of course, the gym. But what made the city special was the mines and museum. Lucas bent to look at the sign. "City of Energy," he read, blinking. Yeah, pollution. Don't these people know about global warming? Well, whatever.

We all stepped down a few steps, only to be interrupted by a brown-haired kid wearing a blue baseball hat, red t-shirt, and blue shorts. He raised his hands.

"Howdy, trainer!" he exclaimed. He really had a thick southern drawl. "If you don't have a single gym badge, other trainers will look down on you like you're a total noob, right?"

"That's Racade's territory," I remarked. Racade scowled.

"You're a bi-"

"ANYWAYS!" The kid's grin came back. "So, I'll show you where the town's Pokemon gym is."

It… was right there. Around the corner. Just… there. It was pointless. But the building wasn't as grand as Mom described it. It was two stories, maybe, but it was wide with a brown top and sliding doors. Oh, and a large white symbol that apparently was half a Pokeball proudly shined above.

The kid stepped inside for a moment, then came back out. "Sorry! The leader's not there!"

Racade gasped. "WHAT?! But…!"

"But the good news is, he's just south of here. In the mines. And there's Pokemon to catch. So if you guys need Pokemon, you can go catch." The kid laughed. "See ya!"

That was stupid. I scowled. "I'll kill the gym leader!"

Lucas nudged me. "Don't worry Dawn. We'll get down there. C'mon!"

----

We went to a Pokemon center after that. Huzzah.

----

Okay, sorry about that. So I had to take off my hat and plug my nose because the air was SO polluted! No wonder it's almost a barren wasteland! Learn to respect the environment, will ya? Racade waved across from us.

"Yo guys! Look! There's an opening!" He jumped up and down before running inside.

"Yeah, quit being so obvious…" I muttered, making sure Lucas was tagging behind me.

The sign read "Oreburgh Coal Mine: Beware of Busy Pokemon!"

No duh.

So we stepped inside. Racade was already running around in a circle waiting for us. "HEY GUYS!" He jumped up and down again. "C'MON!"

I sighed and stormed after him. "Slow down!" I cried. Lucas was sliding down the steps. What can I say? They were muddy. He groaned.

"Come on guys!" Lucas moaned, rubbing his butt to get the dirt and stuff off.

But Racade and I were already in the main room. We sped downwards, weaved through some rocks, and stopped by a…

Really, really, really big lump of coal.

Lucas caught up and gasped for breath. Racade jumped over and tugged out arms. "I saw a guy!" he exclaimed, looking like he was going to throw a party. "He was instructing other guys! But there were people in front, so I couldn't see much!"

"Murder!" I cried with glee and sped off with Racade in front and Lucas behind.

"HEY GUY I GOTTA-" My breath caught in my throat. I suppose it's a teenage girl thing, but even though the gym leader was… older… he was hot. The leader was standing in the middle of two rocks and his Geodude was right by him. His hair was some sort of mixture of purple-red, and his eyes were the same color. He wore a red mining hat, grey clothes perfect for mining, gloves, and glasses that slid down his nose every time he bent down to pick up something. He apparently heard my voice and looked at us.

"Uh… hi?"

I felt my face heating up. Oh, no… how could this be? I just screamed bloody murder in front of an angel! He scanned us and smiled. A pure smile. It made his features light up. It was not fake, but real. I felt nauseated.

"Trainers!" he exclaimed. "Watch this! Using the hidden move Rock Smash, a boulder blocking your way…" The Geodude next to him punched it and sent chunks of rocks and dirt flying around, "gets destroyed! Awesome, huh?"

I nodded absentmindedly. Lucas and Racade snickered at my obvious infatuation. I just hope he didn't notice it, too.

Apparently, he didn't. "Fallen boulders need to be smashed so they're out of the way. If you could get the badge from the gym in town, you'd be able to do this too. Of course, you'd have to defeat the gym leader first!" He paused, waiting for a reaction. We just stood there, because he seemed to think we didn't know he was the leader. "That'd be me!"

I blushed harder when he looked straight at me.

"My name is Roark. I'm sure you kids know this, right?"

"We're not kids!" Racade retorted. "I could show you my-"

I smacked him across the face. I don't think ANYONE needed to see anything he had. Roark looked at me, his smile fading. The look he gave me made me feel totally ashamed. How could this guy have such an affect on me?

"I'm sorry Racade…" I murmured, looking down. Racade almost dropped dead.

Roark recalled his Geodude. "Awesome! Looks like forgiveness is the key to go! So, um… hey, you're that contest woman's kid… er… Dawn?"

I gasped. How'd he know my name? "Yeah! I am!"

"Cool." Roark smiled again. That pure, gorgeous smile. "Yeah, I sometimes watch the Tube on the latest contest stuff. You do know your mom's not retired, right?"

"Yeah, I know." I smiled as well. Lucas seemed to peer at Roark questioningly.

"Yeah, you'll be a looker like your mom is." He shrugged. "So, you a contest gal, I'm taking? These men'll battle me?"

"Quite the opposite," Lucas snapped through gritted teeth. "SHE'S battling. I'm watching. I'm an assistant!"

"And I'm battling too!" Racade grinned, waving his hands up in the air.

Roark raised an eyebrow at Lucas, but smiled wider. "Can't wait. Well, you guys can follow me to the gym, okay?"

"Okay!" Racade and I exclaimed.

----

"I wasn't always the original person to be a gym leader," Roark explained as we set out. I tried keeping my eyes away.

"Really?" Lucas asked, forgetting he was mad at him. It's hard to stay mad at Roark. He's just a likable guy.

"Mm-hm. There was another dude… but I won't say his name."

"Aw, why not?" Racade asked, pouting. Roark laughed. It was a lovely laugh.

"Because, we're really close and he's sorta shy. So he doesn't want me, an outgoing dude, he says, to be blabbing about him to everyone. But you kids… I dunno, something's… different. You're not those kinds that just come up to me and demand to battle. You guys are… more… ah, I can't say it, really." His eyes shined. "But I just know that our battle will be a life-changer."

"For us?" I asked.

"Nah, for me." Silence. "What do you guys expect?" He laughed again. "Just 'cause I'm a gym leader doesn't mean my path is a stick in the mud. It can change. One day, I'm a gym leader. The next… a champion. Or a stay-at-home-dad. Maybe even a gym leader, all the same. But I should tell you this…" We all turned to him, "Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation."

Lucas thought on that for a second. "But, Roark, I-"

"You don't have to." He shook his head. "It'll come to you all." Roark turned to look up into the sky as he walked. Racade tried that once. He crashed into a tree. I guess that's another thing that makes Roark so awesome.

"Yeah… you guys have a long life ahead. I do, too, my dad says, considering I'm only twenty, but sometimes the job kinda… stresses me. Makes me feel older, because all these people look up to me. It's like the gym won't give me a chance to show potential. Yet, I can't leave. … But, now that I think about it, I don't want to."

I smiled a bit. "You're really good at this 'being deep' stuff." Roark laughed.

"Yeah, well, I can fix my own problems just by talking to myself. Er… look." We all stopped in front of the gym building.

"We're here!" Racade exclaimed, heading in. Roark looked at me as Lucas ran in too.

"Dawn?" I looked up and felt myself blush again. Curse it…

"Yeah?"

He seemed to study me. "I think you've got your future in good hands. These guys… they're your life, right here."

"What are you talking-"

"I'll say it again. It'll come to you. Come on Dawn, we gotta battle."

My journal popped out and I wrote,

_"Never, in all this time, have I seen such a guy!_

_I think Racade slipped…"_


End file.
